This One Question Makes Everything Better

Are you having a good day? A bad day?

Feeling great? Or inadequate?

I've found no matter what state I'm in, the following question is of service.

What is the next kind thing that I can do for myself?

This question turns my focus from my to-do list or mental chatter to the present moment and what would be most helpful.

Here are some of my favorite answers.

Attend to the Body
Are you hungry? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Would a short walk or stretch or dance break feel good? Are you tired? Let's honor these needs. It's an act of self care every time you hear your body sending a signal and you meet it with the appropriate response vs. pushing it away. You build inner trust and confidence that you'll be well taken care of when you do this.

Process Emotions
This could be listening to music that matches your mood. Or giving yourself time and space to connect to what you're feeling. Allow your feelings to be seen and cared for. Are you sad or scared or angry? What is that feeling like in your body? What would it be like to care for and comfort that part of you that is feeling that way? Or to take an appropriate action to honor your feelings? For example, maybe there's a boundary to set if you're feeling upset.

Tackle an Energy Drain
That to-do list item that's been sitting there for weeks and weeks that is starting to feel like an impossible mountain to climb? Set aside a spacious, focused half an hour to just pick it up and look at it. Don't worry about finishing the task, but get yourself oriented to what the task is and what it looks like. Sometimes things are hard because they're unfamiliar, so by just looking at the thing you reduce discomfort. With this knowledge you can make a clearer plan to more easily complete the task later.

Give Yourself Compassion
Life is hard and frequently painful. There are ongoing problems and challenges. Once you solve one thing, you face the next one. So look at yourself the way you would look at a friend who is going through whatever you're going through right now. Notice that you're doing your best. Notice that there are things that are hard. And give yourself a soft, encouraging space to land in the midst of everything.

Plug into Supportive People and Groups
We're not meant to handle everything by ourselves. We're meant to be part of a wider net that holds us through the ups and downs of life. So reach out to a friend to catch up. Or join a group that gives room for you to both see and be seen. Healthy relationships are one of the most underrated resources for well-being in our individualistic society. We are stronger together.

Remember that you are just as deserving of your kindness and compassion as anyone else. I know that you are likely holding yourself to an incredibly high standard, and hey, you're doing alright. You're here. You're enough. And you matter.

So, what is the next kind thing that you could do for yourself? Hit reply and let me know what you figured out!

Over here, I could use a bit of a stretch break and some deep breaths before continuing on with my day.