Just a Sec, Pondering This!

Yesterday I was talking to my parents about a situation I wasn't totally sure how to handle. My dad in particular had some expertise in the area, so I was curious for his perspective.

My initial interest in hearing his thoughts quickly turned into him sharing an overriding directive of, "This is exactly what you must do" that was getting reiterated on repeat.

I started to feel uncomfortable with the conversation and noticed that I'd lost my sense of agency.

So I told my parents, "I'm feeling a little... Thank you for your thoughts. I'll think about that, and I'm going to wrap up the conversation here." In the moment I couldn't totally identify what I was feeling, but I knew something was off!

And then we ended the call, and I sat with the guidance and what felt right to me and made my own decision about how to proceed. (To their credit, my parents sent me a little apology note for being overbearing initially.)

What I did there was set a boundary!

Boundaries are one of my favorite life concepts.

I love them boundaries they really do make life so much better. They protect my time and energy. They keep the standards for how I'm willing to be treated. And they give me more efficacy and control over my life.

Unfortunately, many of us were never taught how to think about or utilize boundaries.

If you've worked with me in the last year or so, you've likely heard me recommend The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban because it describes the reasoning behind boundaries and their implementation so well.

I read a lot of psychology and personal development, and I tend to spawn book clubs as I go through life.

So, I'm super excited to combine these two things and introduce our first Clarity Community Book Club! We'll be reading (or skimming... or even not reading at all... anyone is welcome, just show up!) The Book of Boundaries and then sharing our thoughts, boundary questions, or boundary issues in a virtual book club.

And in the meantime, repeat after me, "Thanks for thinking of me. Let me sleep on it, and I'll get back to you."